By Kelsea Stahler, Hollywood.com Staff
Every summer, we have that fleeting moment in which we realize it's hotter than the Donut Devil's oven and we therefore have license to run around in the neon underwear we like to call swimsuits. And immediately after that happens, we begin gorging on photos of famous ladies in bikinis for reasons ranging from "Not enough self-loathing" to "(drool)," but this summer tradition is a little one-sided. Why don't we head straight for the boys of summer? And more specifically, the boys of summer television, who come into our homes every night courtesy of the gracious networks who air their fine series? Where is their HOT SUMMER PICS list? It's right here. (You can thank us later.)
Alcide Herveaux (Joe Manganiello) on True Blood
He seems to be getting the Team Jacob end of the stick (so far) on the b-lood-ved HBO series, but Alcide is certainly earning his keep on True Blood. Of course I'm not talking about how often he takes off his shirt or perfectly fills out a plaid shirt (which, in case you've yet to experience it, is every second he's onscreen). The man is a hero. He shows up to save Sookie when her dueling vampire lovers are otherwise engaged and even comes all the way from Shreveport one afternoon because she's got a pesky missing vampire problem. And, as we've seen in the Season 5 previews, he's hell-bent on protecting Sookie from the newly freed super vamp whose life goal is to train her fairy blood to the last drop. He's definitely TV boyfriend material.
Next: How about a nice Dallas lad?[PAGEBREAK]Christopher Ewing (Jesse Metcalfe) on Dallas
You don't have to understand Christopher's tumultuous, scandalous upbringing to understand that however many hardships he's seen, he's come out smelling like a rose and looking like a prime candidate for TV boyfriending. Besides, who better for a fun, summer fling than a handsome Southern boy?
Next: A man with a perfect set of baby blues.[PAGEBREAK]Neal Caffrey (Matthew Bomer) on White Collar
Now, we're law-abiding people at Hollywood.com, but if there was anyone who could convince us to break bad, it would be Matthew Bomer's White Collar criminal. Besides, the series' story starts with the boyfriendiest catalyst ever: Neal is in prison paying for his crimes when his girlfriend visits him to end things, so he breaks out of prison to find her. Ready? Are you sure you can handle it? Okay, go ahead: Say "awwwww." And if that's not enough, check out the blue-eyed babe in that suit.
Next: Who doesn't love a doctor-turned-hero?[PAGEBREAK]Tom Mason (Noah Wyle) on Falling Skies
Everybody loves a hero and most television-minded people love Noah Wyle (remember when E.R. was a thing?), therefore everyone loves Tom Mason. The protagonist of the post-apocalyptic series is not only a father and a widow, but he can take down an entire alien spacecraft. At least we know he's not one to play the "silent treatment" card. Yep, he's a keeper!
Next: With True Blood hunks, you can't have just one.[PAGEBREAK]Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) on True Blood
Oh, come on now. You didn't really think we could leave ol' Eric off the list, did you? Sookie may have forsaken both her vampire lovers, but if she had picked one, it should have been Eric. Now that he's got this strange amalgamation of Confused Woodland Creature Eric and Bloodthirsty Former Viking Eric, his level of hubba just broke the scale. Is it June 10 yet?
Next: The reason we still love Weeds.[PAGEBREAK]Silas Botwin (Hunter Parrish) on Weeds
Weeds may have fallen from its former glory (we're still upset about the loss of "Little Boxes"), but one aspect has never stopped improving season after season: We're looking at you, Silas. Nancy's eldest son was always the cute kid on the show, but as he got older (and legal), he became the babe on the show (but you'll always make us laugh the most, Justin Kirk). While he is continually dooped by friends and ladies, he still looks great doing it. And he means well. He really does. This Pug-head-tilt sponsored by "awww" gives him a spot on the TV boyfriend list.
Next: The unlikeliest of TV crushes.[PAGEBREAK]Louie (Louis C.K.) on Louie
If you saw this entry and immediately thought, "These people are insane," that's fine, but hear us out. Louis C.K. may not be the Joe Manganiello of comedy (that's Joel McHale), but he is a Real Man. And not a Real Man in the Paul Bunyan sort of way, but in the I-don't-give-a-s**t-about-your-technological-complaints-you-spoiled-brat sort of way. He's brutally honest. He's unaffected by pretension and even his own fame. Oh, and then there's that part where he's absolutely hilarious. But of course, that may not tip the scales for you, so here he is being funny while holding a baby duck.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler.
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