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John Daly Just Casually Teeing Up a Guy's Face in a Parking Lot

by Jon Henseler

John frieking Daly folks! As American as apple pie, Chevrolet, government shutdowns and Type 2 Diabeetus. I'll tell you right now, THIS is a guy I want to party with in his prime. Like you know how you always see that question, 'if you could have dinner with anyone living or dead who would it be?' And invariably everyone answers, Jesus or Ghandi or something so they seem insightful? Wrong. John Daly would without question be on my list. Bill Clinton, Hugh Hefner, Ric Flair have spots too. And while we're at it I'd probably round out my top 5 with either Mr. Feeney or Don Johnson. Just to add some class to the night*. But Daly is first ballot. And I can't think of anyone that hates this guy. All he does is rip shots of Jack, cigarettes on the golf course and drives of 350 yards. He's 40% real life Roy McAvoy grip-it-and-rip-it, 40% Kenny Powers, and 20% cocksman (sorry I'm not sorry) . A party with him would make Mitch-A-Palooza look like bingo night at the retirement home. Never change John, never change.

*Just being an internet tough guy Mom. Me real 5 would be Jesus, Susan B Anthony, Abraham Lincoln, and John Daly.

PS: So envious of the dude on the ground too. What a story to have in your life. The time John Daly ripped a drive from my face. Classic.

Double PS: In my world this golf ball traveled 10,000 yards to the ocean and landed in a blowhole. Is that a Titleist?!