1/5/12

Today we are doing a test run for Josh and Mia. I'm here to help and it's probably a good thing because we learned that he needs to start his day at least 20 minutes early. It was really difficult for me to be completely hands off this morning, but I had to pretend that I wasn't there because I won't be as of January 17th. Josh got up this morning at 5am and got himself ready before Mia even woke up. When Mia did wake up he had to get her diaper changed and get her dressed for the day, she cried the whole time. Then he had to warm up the bottle and feed her. She was quiet while he warmed up the bottle and then started crying when he tried to feed her. She wouldn't take it until she finally settled down. Josh was getting frustrated because he was afraid he was going to be late for work if she didn't cooperate. I kept reminding him that there will be days like this and him getting frustrated won't make it go any faster. His boss will understand until he gets it figured out. It is a completely different routine for Mia to get used to too. I get up with her every morning and I breastfeed her in the chair in her room in the dark. Josh bottle fed her downstairs on the couch under the lights.

After he fed her and burped her he got a little irritated that she spit up on him, but that's going to happen and he is a dad so everyone will understand. If it's going to be a problem for him he should feed and burp her in a sweatshirt that he can take off once he gets to work.

Once he got her into her harness and loaded her into the car seat and loaded the car with the diaper bag, boppy and his work stuff. He snapped Mia's car seat into the car. I shouldn't have, but I got the bottles ready and packed up for him.

Josh needs to be to work at 7am and we pulled up to the front door at 6:59am so I had to drop Mia off at the babysitter's.

My friend Jaime is watching Mia during the day. I have been friends with Jaime since 1st grade, we were inseparable from 1st grade through freshman year in college. For as long as I can remember Jaime has wanted lots of kids. It's unfortunate for her that her husband doesn't. They have two boys and that's enough for her husband. So Jaime is super excited to have Mia.

Jaime lives only 5 minutes from Josh's work so I got there shortly after 7 to drop Mia off. I got there and told Jaime what times to feed Mia and how often to change her. I had a very hard time leaving her, but I knew that I had to. I have to get used to being away from her.

I left Jaime's and now I'm at my mom and dad's house. I decided that I need to blog to keep myself busy so I don't think about how much I miss her. I feel rather useless when I don't have someone depending on me for something. No baby depending on me for comfort or food. No dogs depending on me for attention, to let them outside, and food. No boss depending on me to get a job done. You'd think that I'd use this time to relax and rest, but I feel like I need to stay busy.

I am visiting the home of our backup sitter today at noon so after that I am going back to Jaime's. I know that Mia is going to be fine there until then. I wasn't able to pump quite enough to make it all the way through the day. I will need to go to Jaime's to feed her at 2:30. Mia and I have to go pick up Josh at 3:30. Then we have to hurry home to the dogs because they'll be in their kennels for a very long time.

I can't imagine how crazy I'm going to be when I'm at work. At least I know I can call Jaime a million times a day. I'm so excited to get back on the show, but I'm going to miss Mia so so much. I know all mothers can relate. I completely understand stay at home moms. There is nothing more rewarding in the world than to be able to care for a baby and I think that breastfeeding makes that feeling even stronger because your baby needs you that much more.

I have a feeling I'll be putting a lot of mileage on my car, because I'll be driving an hour from work to Jaime's to be able to be with my baby sooner.