For as long as I can remember I had the dream of being married to an awesome man, living in a nice house, 3 kids and a dog or two. Someone should tell little girls that no matter what you do, your marriage will never be what you invision in your mind at such a young age. There are jobs that get in the way, money problems, problems with other family and friends, its not all peaches and cream. But its life. This is as good as it gets. I get up every morning, I take care of my three kids, I do laundry, dishes, and every once in a great while I get a chance to sit all alone and take it all in. This is not my dream, this is better.
Do I love my husband? Yes. Do I like him 100% of the time. No. Do I love my kids? Yes. Do I want to spend all of my waking hours taking care of them and playing with them? No. Do these things mean I am a bad mom? No. These things mean that I am human.
Bryan and I have been married for almost 10 years. And almost daily, we get news of a couple that we know getting divorced. Its sad. People give up too easily. Am I saying that you should stay no matter what? No. Not at all. Bryan and I both know that there are things that are unforgivable. Or maybe you can forgive them, but you still can't stay married after certain things have happened. It's not healthy.
But we love each other, and that counts for a lot, even on the days when we don't like each other very much.
It comes down to a very simple question: Is your life better with or without this person. If you answer without, then you need to figure out why, and determine if it is something that can be fixed with time, counseling, or maybe, God forbid, just a simple conversation with your spouse.
I am so surprised that so many couples we know, spend day after day in the same house, but they never talk. Sure they talk about the kids, jobs and normal day to day things, but they don't really talk.
I am not saying by any stretch of the imagination that our marriage is perfect. I don't think there is such a thing. But I do know that if Bryan and I don't make this marriage thing work, that it won't be for lack of trying, and it won't be because of some stupid thing one of us does that eats away at the other one until we just simply can't do it anymore.
The divorce rate is rising, and it makes me sad. I needed to vent. I needed to say what I felt. So here it is. Thanks for letting me rant.