Culled from the experiences of real pilots, flight attendants, airline staff, ground crew, and TSA officials, these are the reasons logical people are afraid to fly and even the most seasoned traveler should be at least a bit skeeved out by this list of awful things that happen on planes.
1) Somebody Has Probably Changed a Diaper On Your Tray Table
2) Guidelines Exist for the Amount of Screws a Plane Is Allowed to Fly Without
3) If There's A Bomb Threat While Flying Over An Ocean, You Probably Won't Hear About It
4) Even the Headphones in Wrappers Have Probably Been Used
5) Flight Attendants Are Using Their Cell Phones During the Flight
Nobody Washes the Blankets or Pillows
Enjoy your scabies."
7) Some Airline Employees Don't Get Paid Until the Flight's in the Air
8) Pilots Get Served Different Meals in Case of Food Poisoning
9) Plane Water Is Disgusting And Possibly Poop-Filled
If You Breathe from the Oxygen Bags for More Than 15 Minutes, You're Gonna Have a Bad Time
The oxygen masks on planes only supply 15-20 minutes of oxygen."
11) Pilots Routinely Nod Off During Long Flights
Planes Are Frequently Struck by Lightning
Better the plane that you."
13) People Steal the Under Seat Life Jackets
14) The Toilets Can Be Unlocked from the Outside
Some Flight Attendants Delay Food Service On Night Flights Until More People Fall Asleep
Less work for them."
16) The Emergency Door Handles Are There So Flight Attendants Aren't Pushed Out
If Your Bag Vibrates for Any Reason, You Will Be Called Out to Have It Examined
Moral of the story: take the batteries out of your vibrating toys before you fly."
18) The Walkways Are Lit for Emergencies, Not Atmosphere
Gross. Yuck. Whaaaaaat?
Oh we can't wait to fly again soon...NOT.
~BS and Vanessa